When Avoiding It Costs You More Than Doing It
The toll of not changing might be heavier than the fear of starting
October 7, 2025
Do you know this feeling well?
Where anxiety isn’t just in the background anymore… it’s running the whole show. And you feel the pressure building in your chest, you have so much to do, but don’t know where to start. It feels like a loop until suddenly…you feel paralyzed to make a decision. Even the smallest step.
And still…You avoid doing the only thing on your list that truly matters.
The one you keep putting off.
You tell yourself you’ll try again next week.
When your mind isn’t so loud. When you’re less busy. When life finally slows down.
And yet, deep down you know this:
Avoiding the thing that scares you is costing you more than doing it ever could.
The cost of avoidance isn’t just emotional. it’s energetic.
The mental load of not doing the thing IS heavier than the work itself.
The stories you replay in your mind every night are actually louder than the real conversation you’re avoiding.
The self-doubt that loops on repeat is often far more painful than the discomfort of trying something new.
And that version of you that you keep imagining, is waiting on the other side of this pain.
And I get why you’ve hesitated.
You’re not lazy and you’re not “bad at following-through”.
You’re protective, smart, always aware of potential threats.
And you’ve been taught that slowing down or asking for help is either a burden to others or makes you less capable.
So when that thing you know you need to do, whether it’s joining a program, starting a creative project, getting honest with the kind of life you want to lead, setting a boundary, or making a phone call, keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the list…
It’s not because you’re flaky. It’s because your nervous system is scanning for safety and change (especially a change in how you go about your life) feels risky.
I can say this to you because I’ve lived this life. I know in every cell of my body how terrifying it can feel to do the uncomfortable, new thing. And I also got to the point of knowing that avoiding it was paralyzing my life more than taking action.
So then what if the real risk is not growing? In other words, what if the actual risk is staying stuck with the same attitude, beliefs, and choices you continue to reinforce by your actions…or lack of action (subconsciously)?
A reframe: What if doing the thing isn’t the threat?
If the very thing you’ve been avoiding (getting support, making space for yourself, trying a new approach) IS the bridge back to yourself.
Back to presence.
Back to possibility.
Back to the version of you who feels proud, peaceful, and alive in your body again.
Then isn’t THAT worth the risk?
Here’s something you can try today:
**Before you scroll on or tell yourself you’re “too busy,” try this simple reset.
🌬️ The Avoidance Inventory
- Take a few deep breaths and bring to mind the one thing you’ve been avoiding.
- Ask without filtering your thoughts/judging: “What do I think will happen if I do this?”
- Then ask: “What is it costing me to not do it?”
Don’t close this until you’ve reached honesty with yourself.
Let yourself feel the truth, not to shame yourself, but to create space for clarity.
Because clarity often comes after compassion, not before.
With love, presence, & creativity,
Katherine
Helping you create space for peace to emerge
